Comments on: He Drives Me Crazy! Passive Aggressive Behavior In Sex Addicts.

By: Older Woman

Older Woman — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 06:45:09 +0000

You “helped” me eternally.

By: katt

katt — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 19:05:56 +0000

Sadladyfromnj just want to tell you if you have not found a lawyer try to find one who just does matrimonial law only this in NJ Ive found carries allot of weight.Try website superlawyers in keyword put matrimonial law.I hope this is of some help

By: sadladyfromnj

sadladyfromnj — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 18:48:11 +0000

Hello Lorraine. Thanks for getting back to my post. Yes what he did was fraudulent and a long story. My credit was better than his and would take out cards in my name but not ever let me look at the mail. I know it seems crazy I allowed that but he had a way to belittle me as he is an accountant and made me feel like I was not capable of handling bills. He is totally a PA man. The problem is I believe that after awhile he would put a credit card in my wallet with my name on it and tell me to buy groceries, gas, etc. on it. I thought he was being wise by earning points or getting cards with small APR’s or interest free for six months etc. I had NO idea he was charging these cards to the max to pay for life bills while using the ATM to take out cash for his prostitutes. If I could only post the sickness as it appears on the bank statements that I have recently discovered. I now know why he went through two jobs a year. Went to work to seek out a prostitute on craigs list than took two hour lunches to be with her than went back to work find another escort and left work early. 2010 was his downfall however as his addiction escalated which I guess like in any addiction it takes more and more to get high. I am totally looking for a great lawyer to represent me. I wont let kill me financially as well. There must be something I can do. I have proof of some credit cards that he western unioned prostitutes money and bought $300 a night hotel rooms on my cards. I have so much tangible evidence that I am sure I will be able to leave the marriage debt free as we have a lot of equity in our home. Even if I did leave with nothing it is better to be free than to be living with SA. I have a plan to first move my stuff out before I seek legal help. He is a violent man and I want to feel like I can leave in the blink of an eye if he gets very angry about me filing for divorce. I dont know if the other women in here feel like this but I think he likes being married to me because I make him feel somewhat normal when he knows he is anything but normal. I know he doesnt want to tell people he is divorced and have to EXPLAIN WHY. I believe it is his motivation for wanting to save the make believe marriage. I will keep you ladies informed of exactly what the lawyer tells me as I am sure other women are in the same situation and the debt makes them afraid to leave. If I have to press charges for fraud I will. I am not sure if the law cares that I was under his thumb mentally, emotionally, and financially or not. But I can say this… I NEVER in my married life tried to open a credit card. Now I GET the mail…boy was that frightening to see and realize the debt with my own eyes. SA is betrayal in ALL forms, even financially. It is a mess but I am determined to leave it behind. Thanks for responding Lorraine. I am studying this site thoroughly and find it very helpful.

By: Lorraine

Lorraine — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 17:49:53 +0000

hmmm… just reading this again…

HE TOOK OUT 12 CREDIT CARDS IN YOUR NAME WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE OR CONSENT???

Honey, that’s FRAUD and its a FELONY.

Have you consulted with a lawyer? Please document as much as you can. grrrrrrrr… This is enraging!!!!!!!!

xo,

By: Lorraine

Lorraine — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 17:18:50 +0000

Dear sadladyfromnj,

You are definitely NOT alone! And thank you for sharing your very difficult, very painful story.

At 33, you are still so very very young, although, I imagine it doesn’t feel like it right now— I admire you greatly for having the courage to seek out wellness for yourself and child(ren). Every situation is different, but sometimes FEAR is such a motivating factor that for some women, it keeps them locked in the chains of paralyzing stagnation–even in the face of clear cut abuse. (this isn’t a judgment, just an observation) In your case, I can see an inner strength that will allow you to move away from this hell.

The “real world” can be harsh at times, yes, but it is also full of so much beauty and wonderment and all of it is out there, awaiting you– welcoming you with its warm, loving embrace.

Love,

Lorraine