Comments on: I Am Not A Co-Sex Addict! http://marriedtoasexaddict.com/i-am-not-a-co-sex-addict/ Help for Partners of Sex and Porn Addicts Fri, 18 May 2012 15:55:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: JoAnn http://marriedtoasexaddict.com/i-am-not-a-co-sex-addict/#comment-10359 JoAnn Thu, 03 May 2012 21:20:15 +0000 http://marriedtoasexaddict.com/?p=2122#comment-10359 Hi Laila, I am so sorry that you are going through all of this, I know how scary it can be. Unfortunately I have had to curtail the forum type discussions on this website, as the cost of the bandwidth is prohibitive. I am limiting the discussions to replies and comments on the story or article. To accommodate women who want support, conversation, discussions, friendship and resources, I have provided a paid membership site called the Sisterhood Of Support. The members dues pay for the extra bandwidth required for all the discussions in the forum. If you would like more information you can check it out here http://sisterhoodofsupport.com/subscribe All my best to you ~ JoAnn Hi Laila,

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this, I know how scary it can be.

Unfortunately I have had to curtail the forum type discussions on this website, as the cost of the bandwidth is prohibitive. I am limiting the discussions to replies and comments on the story or article.

To accommodate women who want support, conversation, discussions, friendship and resources, I have provided a paid membership site called the Sisterhood Of Support. The members dues pay for the extra bandwidth required for all the discussions in the forum.

If you would like more information you can check it out here

http://sisterhoodofsupport.com/subscribe

All my best to you ~ JoAnn

]]> By: Laila http://marriedtoasexaddict.com/i-am-not-a-co-sex-addict/#comment-10358 Laila Thu, 03 May 2012 21:09:07 +0000 http://marriedtoasexaddict.com/?p=2122#comment-10358 Hi Sandra, I read your post and am in the same place as I've recently discovered my husband's deceitfulness and 'addiction'. I'm wondering if you moved on in your life? If so, can you help me know what to expect as I'm afraid to move forward but too scared to go back and need encouragement from someone who has MADE it through the letting go process, if you have/did. If not, if you regret going back and why or why not. Thank You, Laila Hi Sandra,
I read your post and am in the same place as I’ve recently discovered my husband’s deceitfulness and ‘addiction’. I’m wondering if you moved on in your life? If so, can you help me know what to expect as I’m afraid to move forward but too scared to go back and need encouragement from someone who has MADE it through the letting go process, if you have/did. If not, if you regret going back and why or why not.

Thank You,
Laila

]]> By: ShellyJoe http://marriedtoasexaddict.com/i-am-not-a-co-sex-addict/#comment-10119 ShellyJoe Thu, 12 Jan 2012 13:42:39 +0000 http://marriedtoasexaddict.com/?p=2122#comment-10119 Getting out of that relationship was not easy, Basically broke it down to his next lie. No matter what it was in regard to.That of course didn't take long. I noticed these guys lie like they breath air. It may have nothing to do with an encounter. I think the man I was with knew he would not be able to cover his addiction any longer from me and sought a more naive victim. THIS time when I broke up with him he didn't pursue which was a huge blessing because walking away from these guys is not easy! The reason being is that they have that "good" side that even though insincere and dis genuine is like a drug that allows them to work their tentacles deep into every vunerable emotional groove we possess. I was saying how I found many correspondence from him towards young barely legal woman. That was my concern with giving heads up to new victim. Far from a control thing but knowing this man has no boundaries and sexualizes everything it sickens me to to think of him being involved with someone with teenage girls. I have decided at the end of the day NOT to get involved because i have my own family to worry about and my healing will be halted if I did decide to move forward with a warning. I also know these guys set woman up to already belief the x is a nutcase a proactive damage control so to speak. He convinced me of the sky being blue when it was storming on more then one occasion, i believed him because i was already too deep in and I wanted to. So I choose to let her figure it out on her own. hopefully she will. He is more "out" there now with his all around lifestyles choices so its not that much of mystery..Thank you for the support Getting out of that relationship was not easy, Basically broke it down to his next lie. No matter what it was in regard to.That of course didn’t take long. I noticed these guys lie like they breath air. It may have nothing to do with an encounter. I think the man I was with knew he would not be able to cover his addiction any longer from me and sought a more naive victim. THIS time when I broke up with him he didn’t pursue which was a huge blessing because walking away from these guys is not easy! The reason being is that they have that “good” side that even though insincere and dis genuine is like a drug that allows them to work their tentacles deep into every vunerable emotional groove we possess. I was saying how I found many correspondence from him towards young barely legal woman. That was my concern with giving heads up to new victim. Far from a control thing but knowing this man has no boundaries and sexualizes everything it sickens me to to think of him being involved with someone with teenage girls. I have decided at the end of the day NOT to get involved because i have my own family to worry about and my healing will be halted if I did decide to move forward with a warning. I also know these guys set woman up to already belief the x is a nutcase a proactive damage control so to speak. He convinced me of the sky being blue when it was storming on more then one occasion, i believed him because i was already too deep in and I wanted to. So I choose to let her figure it out on her own. hopefully she will. He is more “out” there now with his all around lifestyles choices so its not that much of mystery..Thank you for the support

]]> By: JoAnn http://marriedtoasexaddict.com/i-am-not-a-co-sex-addict/#comment-10114 JoAnn Tue, 10 Jan 2012 14:39:53 +0000 http://marriedtoasexaddict.com/?p=2122#comment-10114 Hi Shellyjoe, Kudos to you for getting out when you did. Unfortunately active SA's will continue their path of destruction as that is just part of life that we have no control over. As for your question, I feel that it is NEVER appropriate to interfere in someone else's life unless they specifically ask for your advice or help. This type of interference is nothing more than a control tactic veiled as 'help' and can really help no one. Not you, not her, not anyone. And, especially with strangers, it could be considered harassment and could get you into legal trouble at worst. At best, you will be looked upon as the bad guy interfering where you have no right and that turmoil will only make your healing more difficult. You have come a long way toward healing in a healthy way, please do not waste your energy on anything that your ex is doing. Do not follow what he is doing or toil over it. Move onward and forward. Help yourself and those you love and stay away from the effects of your ex's behaviors. Hi Shellyjoe,

Kudos to you for getting out when you did. Unfortunately active SA’s will continue their path of destruction as that is just part of life that we have no control over.

As for your question, I feel that it is NEVER appropriate to interfere in someone else’s life unless they specifically ask for your advice or help.

This type of interference is nothing more than a control tactic veiled as ‘help’ and can really help no one. Not you, not her, not anyone. And, especially with strangers, it could be considered harassment and could get you into legal trouble at worst. At best, you will be looked upon as the bad guy interfering where you have no right and that turmoil will only make your healing more difficult.

You have come a long way toward healing in a healthy way, please do not waste your energy on anything that your ex is doing. Do not follow what he is doing or toil over it. Move onward and forward. Help yourself and those you love and stay away from the effects of your ex’s behaviors.

]]> By: Shellyjoe http://marriedtoasexaddict.com/i-am-not-a-co-sex-addict/#comment-10110 Shellyjoe Mon, 09 Jan 2012 18:05:31 +0000 http://marriedtoasexaddict.com/?p=2122#comment-10110 NEED FEEDBACK HERE PLEASE, I am just happy he is not my problem anymore and I never married him. For all his lies and excuses he fed me for his inconsistencies in the beginning, were believable. If no one has given you reason not to believe them then you believe them because non sociopaths and non addicts DO NOT live to con people. These men are pros they feed off your naivety. My problem now I am struggling with is this, My SA X has a new victim, from what I have learned she is a sweet woman with small children. I have debated with giving her the heads up like I wish someone had done for me. I hate to see another innocent woman victimized and the fact he had woman as young as 19 on one of his cheating sites, which i will go on a limb and guess they prostitutes of some sort. because what 19 year old is looking to cheat on her husband? Bothers me because she has girls... We know these men have no boundaries. I can't save the world I know this but i need to some feedback here. Part of me feels obligated and another just wants to keep walking and never look back.. Any advice or experience with this?? NEED FEEDBACK HERE PLEASE,

I am just happy he is not my problem anymore and I never married him. For all his lies and excuses he fed me for his inconsistencies in the beginning, were believable. If no one has given you reason not to believe them then you believe them because non sociopaths and non addicts DO NOT live to con people. These men are pros they feed off your naivety. My problem now I am struggling with is this, My SA X has a new victim, from what I have learned she is a sweet woman with small children. I have debated with giving her the heads up like I wish someone had done for me. I hate to see another innocent woman victimized and the fact he had woman as young as 19 on one of his cheating sites, which i will go on a limb and guess they prostitutes of some sort. because what 19 year old is looking to cheat on her husband? Bothers me because she has girls… We know these men have no boundaries. I can’t save the world I know this but i need to some feedback here. Part of me feels obligated and another just wants to keep walking and never look back.. Any advice or experience with this??

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