My name is JoAnn and I am married to a Sex Addict. This site, and the book I am writing is for anyone who loves or cares about a Sex Addict.

Here you will find support, conversation, feedback and resources to help you understand yourself and the Sex Addict. This understanding and knowledge of the hows and whys will be the first step toward healing for yourself and the addict.

Please come back often as I will be posting excerpts from my book as well as new research findings, articles and my own thoughts and progress and I encourage you to share your thoughts and ideas. In the meantime take care and be safe.

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New Forum For Spouses And Partners Of Sex Addicts

I have developed a Forum Page to make it more convenient for all of you to connect with, share with and support each other. Just click the link on the menu above or click here.

I hope you enjoy this new feature. Since I am new to developing forums and advice or suggestions are welcome.

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2 comments to New Forum For Spouses And Partners Of Sex Addicts

kel

March 25th, 2010 at 9:49 pm

I’m struggling to make a decision about whether to remain with my husband, after discovering that he is a sex addict. I discovered his addiction a year and a half ago, after finding a website for an escort site on his cell phone. He has been having sex with escorts and massage girls, as well as engaging in phone sex and purusing dating websites, for the entire length of our marriage of 13 years, and even prior to this. He disclosed that some of his sexually deviant behaviour goes as far back as his teen years. Before I discovered this behaviour, he was the perfect husband…very nuturing and attentive. He is still very nuturing to me and I am quite dependant on him.

We are separated, but we still spend a great deal of time together. When I discovered his secret, my response was to have a sexual fling with a married man, which lasted almost one year. I’m now struggling with whether to move on from my husband and date other men, or salvage the relationship. My husband and I are both participating in individual counselling, and we also did some couples counselling. I’m worried that I no longer trust men, and I’m starting to think that all men have some form of sexual addiction, so am I better to stay with the man that I know? I don’t have much of a support system of family or friends, and I’m quite isolated…he is really my only friend.
Diane

March 27th, 2010 at 10:08 am

I’ve been thinking about you, Kel. Why are you so isolated? Is that a part of the whole problem? I know that keeping our husband’s secrets does isolate us.

No woman needs to stay with a man just because “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t”. If you want a social support network for yourself, starting building one. Take a course for work or sheer interest. Join a walking club, a book club, a community choir. Volunteer. check out spiritual centres, churches, etc. Have somewhere to go where there are other people. I’l bet you have lots to offer the world and other people. They will enjoy meeting you.

I know it all sounds old-fashioned, but it’s not true that the only option you have is to go back to this man. You have other options. Go explore. You don’t have to like all of them. Just one or two that feel okay.

Lots of people use these kind of groups to help get through hard things. I do. Making a life isn’t just about having a husband. You may find others whose company you really enjoy. And no DRAMA!

Good luck. I believe in you. Now you believe in yourself.

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