Sex Addicts could be categorized as Sexual cripples. Their ability to become aroused is based on skewed fantasies and unrealistic expectations. Put them in bed with a committed, loving partner and they really don’t know what to do.
Intimacy frightens them and pleasing someone else is out of their realm of thinking except when it fulfills their fantasies of being the greatest lover in the world–and only if you manage to be satisfied in the way that they want and within their predetermined period of time, which oddly is supposed to coincide exactly with their orgasm. Sex Addicts are completely unrealistic and narcissistic in the bedroom. Their own pleasure is their only focus.
Early in a relationship a Sex Addict’s passion can be mistaken for love and intimacy, but as the relationship grows and becomes more mature and intimate, the Sex Addict pulls away and ignores or even rejects their spouse or partner for their fantasy world and fantasy partners. Reality just doesn’t appeal to them when it comes to sex.
Sexuality and intimacy are two of the most difficult areas to deal with when living with a recovering Sex Addict. They have spent a lifetime conditioning themselves to respond to the wrong stimuli. Learning healthy sex will take the rest of their lives.
The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. ~ Richard Bach