We usually think of Sex Addicts as men, but as this story illustrates, there are many female Sex Addicts out there. I appreciate David for sharing his very difficult story that his wife is a Sex Addict. Please offer him your support and advice. ~ JoAnn
My name is David and I have been with my wife for 33 yrs we have 3 children 27, 21 & 15. Last year I found out that my wife had many men’s names in her phone which she was constantly on and kept very close to her even sleeping with it, she would always wear her bra in bed and keep her phone in it. I didn’t know the password, so I put some software on my computer and found this out.
In the mean time she went about deleting lots of things on her face book account, dating sites and email accounts. I then found out she was on about 8 dating sites and she told me that she never meet anyone or spoke to any. I didn’t believe her. I then found out she had two different email accounts and there were lots of messages between her and many other men, including her ex-husband who she met in London in April 2011 and slept with him, she of course denied this.
She also stated that the emails from a colleague at work were nothing and nothing went on. After many days of questioning her she finally admitted to giving him a BJ in school and sleeping with him once and sleeping with her ex. I thought my god what do I do!!!
One night we were arguing and my 21 yr old daughter came down stairs and mum you have to tell him as we ( 27 & 21 yr old) knew about this back in 2011 and asked her not to see her ex as they knew she was emailing him.
Wow this hit me hard!!!
We then separated for 3 months and got back together and started seeing a councillor. After a few sessions the councillor told her that she has to tell me the truth. So we had 1-2 hrs sessions and the final one was where she swore on our children’s lives and told me everything and that she did have sex with her ex and a colleague plus with 5 others in a car park.
It’s a year later and we have just got back from a holiday and she went to see her father who is ill and 250 miles away. I started looking at all the information I had texts, emails, photos and came across other messages between her and other men where she was telling them she had a fling with the Headmaster at the school she used to work at and also had sex with other men and one in particular, where she had previously told me that nothing happened, yet more lies!!!
I could not believe it. I have also realised that the only information I have is from mid 2011 to Dec 2012 and nothing for 2013 up until I found her out, so therofre there were many more sex encounters during 2013, my god!!! We have now separated again as I need to get my head straight and look after my business and kids.
After adding ALL of the blogs on your site I am convinced she is a sex addict as there are soooo many similarities that are the same as my situation.
I am not sure how you can help but being able to write this down and maybe have some feedback from other people would help.
I believe my wife was getting her fix, very regularly and has possible had sex with over 50 men may be more.
By the way I still love and Adour my wife