I have been married for almost 25 years and my husband is a sex addict. Early on in our marriage he had a series of affairs and I should have known then. It seemed like all was okay for the next ten years, not so sure now. In the past four years that I know of, he has been going to swinger’s clubs, engaging in swinging behavior, frequenting adult book stores, internet dating sites, pornography, and most recently, engaging in homosexual activity.
I found all this out two years ago when he told me that he was going through a midlife crisis and wasn’t sure he loved me. I went through some of his things and found receipts for women’s jewelry. I confronted him, and after endless lies, he told me he was in love with another woman. I found out this woman lived in another state. He told me he met at her at a business event. (I found out later he met her on a porn dating site.) I kicked him out, 4 weeks later he was back and I thought everything would work out okay.
I have to admit, in all honesty, that, although I had kicked him out, I was on the phone with him all the time and still having sex with him. I couldn’t let go.
Two years later, I find secret emails and confront him. He tells me he’s gay. I know he’s not gay, he’s got tons of women that he’s in chat and phone relationships with. He says that guys are easier to have sex with because there’s no drama.
I kicked him out and the next day asked him to come back. I can’t let go.
I’m hoping that one day God will give me courage that lasts longer than a day.