Depression and Sex Addiction

As we know, there is no ‘magic pill’ for Sex Addiction, but there may be some hope for the large percentage of addicts who suffer from depression.

I remember my life before my husband started taking antidepressants. It was pure HELL! Not only was he acting out (which I didn’t know) but he was the classic Mr. Doom and Gloom. Nothing was ever right. If it was raining it was ‘crappy outside’. If the sun was out it was ‘too damn hot’, if it was Tuesday…well, you get the picture. He was just miserable to live with and he made everyone around him miserable too.

He refused to discuss depression with his doctor claiming that he was not depressed, he was just feeling down about his life circumstances–an ex wife from hell, an estranged relationship with his daughters, superiors at work who didn’t like him–oh he always had an excuse.

But, fate stepped in when he went to a ‘Stop Smoking’ clinic. He was involved in a double blind study using the drug Bupropion, also known as Wellbutrin. About a month into the study I noticed a positive change in his attitude. His mood swings leveled out and he actually became a nice guy. He didn’t stop smoking but he did obtain a prescription for the drug from his physician after the study was over. The minimal dose he was taking improved his mood for about six months and then I noticed that he was becoming moody again.

He spoke with his doctor who increased the dosage and he has been fine for over three years.

So, what does that have to do with Sex Addiction? Well, a lot. Sex Addicts are most likely to act out when they are under stress. Sex is their medication, their solution to life’s challenges. Antidepressants level out the extreme emotions and allow for a more balanced life, which can decrease the need to act out.

Now I am not implying that antidepressants can cure a Sex Addict, or even minimize their behaviors. What I am saying is that it may be one of the tools, used along with therapy, counseling and support groups to break the cycle of compulsive sexual behavior.

Have any of you had similar experiences with Sex Addicts taking antidepressants?

Depression is the inability to construct a future. ~ Rollo May

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Responses

  1. thank your for this topic.

    I think now that my partner has been depressed most of our married life. As I consider what’s been eating away at him all those years, depression makes real sense as a by-product or initiator of desperate behaviour.

    I read one article online that called sex addiction the sexualization of male depression. This really stuck a chord.
    Perhaps this one are where we can find some true empathy for the sex addict, without getting caught up in tacet approval of behaviours. I’m urging my partner to check this ought–it may be that an anti-depressant could short-circuit that “gloom and doom” stuff that I, like JoAnn, have experienced in my partner.

    We are living separately now and that is one of the main reasons–I just can’t stand his negativity all the time. Even the people at work comment on how much “lighter” I am these days, and it’s because I got out from under his big black cloud.

    But wouldn’t it be good for both of us if he could get out too, with a simple medication? And maybe he would find some encouragement that sobriety doesn’t have to mean unrelieved, mindful depressive state.

  2. Hi, I’m new here and have never posted before. I just recently found out my husband has been visiting places where there are lingerie models since before I met him. He thought once he was married he could stop but didn’t. We’ve been married 8 years. I found out by finding a charge on his credit card that I didn’t know what it was. When I confronted him, he told me what it was. I immediately started doing research and found a lot of web sites where it states people with sex addictions are thought to have low seratonin levels. I am a firm believer in natural products so I started him on 5-htp.It’s similar to prozac or paxil but doesn’t have all the same side effects. It does, however, lower the libido. So far, he claims this has been helping him a lot with overall calmness, being in a better mood (he said coming clean helped here too) and having no desire to act out whatsoever. It’s only been a couple of months but I thought I’d share this info with you all. I get it at vitacost.com & buy the 100 mg capsules. He takes 2 before bed as it makes him very tired. I see a naturopath and says it is safe to take this dose.

  3. I think this is a relevant question. I’ve read that there is a corelation between sexual addiction and OCD. My SA exhibits clear symptoms of OCD. Wherever we go he has to wash his hands. It’s bizzare. I’ve read that medication that is used to treat OCD can help with the compulsiveness associated with sexual addiction. My SA can’t even acknowledge that there were problems in his family of origin let alone acknowledge that he has OCD. I think a trip to a psychiatrist would help him immensely.