Are you still having sex with your spouse or partner even though you know that they are a Sex Addict? Do you practice safe sex by using condoms?
This usually happens early in the process of discovery and disclosure. I guess it’s just human nature–and our primal need to feel close to someone we love again along with a bit of denial about facing our fears about the unknown future.
Most of the women I know, myself included, have had sex with our spouses or partners soon after we found out about the Sex Addiction. I can only speak for myself, but I think I was in so much pain that I just wanted it all to go away, to have even just a brief moment of how it used to be.
Very quickly we realize that things are not the way of they used to be and we have to face some harsh realities about our relationship. The pain of facing all the deceit, lies and visions of what they did and who they did it with after having that brief of moment false intimacy is like throwing salt on a wound. At that point most of us make the decision to stop torturing ourselves by seeking intimacy that never existed . We eventually face the fact that our life can never be like it used to be and–how it used to be was all a lie.
Is needing that closeness soon after the discovery of Sex Addiction in our relationship just a normal part of the recovery process? What do you think?
What loneliness is more lonely than distrust. ~ T. S. Eliot