A journal is a record of our experiences, an account or memoir of our journey through a certain time in our life.
During the four years of the discovery and recovery of my husband’s Sex Addiction I wrote hundreds of pages of my thoughts, feelings, anger, frustration, hope and resentment. It was a powerful method of venting thoughts and feelings that I was just not ready to share with anyone else.
In reading over these entries months and years later I realized that my journal offered an even greater gift than just expression. I found myself gaining both insight and clarity as the passage of time gave me a new perspective. My journals offered the inspiration for my book.
It doesn’t matter how you journal. Some people like to have a special notebook or specially bound book with blank pages made just for journaling while others scatter their notes all over (I wouldn’t recommend that). I chose to use the computer as I am a techie computer and software junkie. I also copied and saved all of the e-mail and chat correspondence with my husband during the three and a half years we were separated.
Do you have a journal? What methods do you use to vent your emotions and frustrations?
You never know what you will learn till you start writing. Then you discover truths you never knew existed. ~ Anita Brookner
Journaling has been very powerful for me as well. Sometimes I write letters that I never send to him. On other occasions, I have written “about” him and us, in the third person, as if I were writing to his therapist or even his mom.
Journaling gives a voice and clarity to my feelings. When I reread my entries later, I can be my own friend, Iand can give myself objective advice, from more of an outsider’s perspective.
I came across an old email that I had sent to me partner – in regards to OTHER issues that we was struggling with in his life.
When I started to go through the Smart Recovery and Recovery Nation tools, it seems that I already knew exactly what lessons he needed to learn – just didn’t realize it applied to our relationship as well. Well, I probably did. Anyway, my email to him, totally aligns with the path of recovery outlined on these websites. I just found it to be incrediblly IRONIC!
OK here goes….
“You said you don’t know what you are supposed to learn from all the drama that has a part of your life in the last year. I think there are a few obvious lessons. Trite but true, I think.
You have to love yourself before you can appreciate the love of others – or love them back.
You can lose everything but no one can ever take away your integrity.
Simplify your life. Focus on what and who really matters.
Life isn’t easy. With pleasure comes pain. With rewards, there are sacrifices. Nothing worth anything is ever easy.
Decide what you value in your life and then make sure your actions match.
Deal with challenges head on and avoid problems later.”