woman thinkingHave you ever heard someone say ‘I’ll try’?

For years, and even occasionally now,  those dreaded words would spout forth from my Sexually Addicted husband.

Just what does ‘I’ll try’ mean? It could mean that he’s maybe going to make an effort. It could mean that he knows he can’t but doesn’t want to face that fact. Or it could mean ‘I know I can’t but I have to say something’.

Think about it. Those words are so meaningless. In fact, let’s do a little exercise. Please, read on and just follow my instructions.


Stand up.

Sit down.

Stand up.

Sit down.

Try to stand up.


I know.

Huh? How do you try to stand up? Do you make the effort? Do you think about it? Do you stand up now or later?

It’s so ambiguous. It’s a weasel word. And, we should not accept it from our spouses or partners.

‘I’ll try’… to stop viewing porn, to stop seeing hookers, to go to my meetings, to learn to communicate better, to find a counselor, to get better, is not a commitment. It oozes options. It’s either I will or I won’t. There is no gray in action. You either do it or you don’t. It seems so strange to me that these totally black and white thinking Sex Addicts have such middle of the road gray areas when talking to us.

I just felt like sharing my random thoughts today.  Love you all.