Are You Interested In Sharing Your Story Publicly?

I have recently been contacted separately by the Oprah Winfrey Network and by Glamour Magazine asking me if I could recommend any of my visitors to them for interviews for articles and TV appearances.

The Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN), which will take over the Discovery Health Channel in January, wants couples who would be willing to go public (like on TV–with no anonymity, no blocked out faces and no distorted voices ) and share their stories of infidelity.

Glamour Magazine is planning an article on what it is like to be married to a Sex Addict. They require that the spouse be between the ages of 25 and 35 (that leaves me out) and would require photos of you (not your spouse).

If anyone is interested in this, please contact me through the contact page, or send me an e-mail and we can discuss the details. As you know, this entire site is strictly confidential and I would never ever divulge any private information without your consent. If you want to pursue this farther I will simply give you the contact information.

Larry and I choose not to do the OWN show as this is really not where I want to be. I am not just a story, I have so much more to offer. I’ll wait until they ask me on as an ‘expert’ after I’m a famous author. (smile)

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Responses

  1. What’s with the age range and photos? Only those with spouses between the age of 25 and 35 are married to sex addicts…puleeze.

    I don’t know but the whole thing sounds contrived…no thanks.

    Wait, unless they want to pay me what Oprah makes in a year 😉

  2. re: 25-35
    I hear you, Marian, but I think that is Glamour magazine’s market, so you can understand the age bracket from a commercial perspective. I would add, however, that setting boundaries and living apart from my SA knocked years off my life!! We will have to console ourselves with that.

    re:public disclosure
    For those who are thinking seriously about doing this, I believe there are some important things to consider.
    For example, I have seen people on Oprah sharing “secrets” and they haven’t told family members, close friends, employers etc. This can create blowback that can destabilize EVERY relationship in very negative ways. The book JoAnn recommends on Disclosing Secrets may help people understand what’s at stake, and how to proceed.

    Also, understanding why you want to do it is important. Is this about celebrity? 15 minutes of fame? To help others? Raise awareness? etc. But are we at a stage when we can help others, tell our own story because we actually know it now?

    I happen to be an Oprah fan, and it’s great to have our sharing on JoAnn’s site catch the attention of her staff, but there’s a lot at stake for each of us every single day, and we need to be good stewards of our own pain, our own limits, our own needs—and also our children, if there are any.

    So think it through. Feel it through. Imagine it through to the other side of it, and make sure that’s where you want to end up.

    Meanwhile, It is a really positive thing that these two groups recognize that this is a “ripening issue” for everyone. And I’m glad they are reaching out in their own way to try and make room for a few voices of women married to, or partners of, SA’s. Thanks Glamour and OWN—and thanks JoAnn for honouring your commitment to confidentiality and also for sharing the opportunity with all of us.

    But for me, the fall out from what they request would be more personal devastation– and this after climbing out of the big black hole and working so hard to bring sanity back into my life as well as some sense of safety. Even posting a response to this made me frightened. I have hesitated, as if it might somehow “leak” my life out. I also observe that Marian and I are the only ones to do so. So maybe my fear is a shared one. It’s just too close. Elmer the emotional safety Elephant is my guide here, and I don’t think anyone of us have to be embarassed about that.

    Love to all of you–you give me strength and wisdom, make me laugh, and challenge me every day to live into the abundance of life. I’m getting there–but not ready for prime time.
    D.

  3. Diane, as always, you offer great wisdom. I have to work through and manage my own grief and figure out how to move on. That said I am panicked for a society that has escalating access to perverted sexual images readily available to impressionable kids and a support system (parents, school administrators, etc) uninformed and thus unarmed to protect them
    from the devastation that the “world of me” appetit for sex with intensity in place of
    of intimacy with another human can inflict. Parents of boys must manage this very early on. If their frIends’ parents don’t enforce Internet filters seriously, then they should not be allowed to go there!! Honestly! Look at the repercussions! As a mother of daughters, I feel it is equally important for them to be aware of the possibilities they could encounter: men with addictions that are not neccesarily obvious. The epidemic is growing circles around any real understanding of the problem.
    I