Okay my dear sisters, the time has come. The new site is developed enough for you to try it out. It is only a framework–so try to look past all that still needs to be done, but the features that I think you need are working reasonably well.

So, go to my new site, Sisterhood Of Support and register. At this time registration is free. Please put in the same e-mail address that you use for this site, as that is how I will verify that you are not some nutcase out there. Anyone I don’t recognize will be contacted by me, and if they are not one of us, they will be banned from the site. That will give us a reasonable amount of security until it becomes a paid subscription site.

After you register you will be able to see the entire menu with the ‘Chat’ tab where you can engage in live chats with any other member who is signed in. You will also be able to access the activity, members, groups and forums. You can access these in two ways. First, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page. There you will see a menu with four items; Activity, Members, Groups and Forums. I have already set up a couple of forum topics, but you can set up new ones if you like. Please try to keep from wandering off of the topic of the forum. If you would like to discuss a different topic, start a new forum.

Please note, you will not be able to access any of those things unless you are registered and signed in.

The other way to access those four items as well as your profile and other items that are not all set up yet it through the menu at the very, very top of the page. Just scroll your mouse over it and drop down menus will appear.

Go ahead and play with anything you like–you can’t really hurt anything. Just remember, if you see things changing or new things appearing, that’s just me doing my work.

I will appreciate any feedback or suggestions that you may have. Please post those comments here. It is a huge undertaking and will require a lot of work on my part over the next month or so. One of the many things that is not included in this trial period is my live meetings. That software requires a monthly subscription fee as well as purchase of software, so I won’t implement that until I have subscribers. Eventually there will be a directory where you can list your name and address and other information in order to find local women, who are also dealing with the Sexual Addiction of their partners, for friendship and support. We will also have a classified section if you would like to post items for sale or wanted. There are just so many goodies, I can’t list them all here.

So, go forth and chat away, share, connect, support and make friends. That’s what the new site is, a community of support. Just don’t forget to come back here, there are many women needing your support here who will chose not to subscribe at the new site.

Love to all,


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42 Responses

  1. JoAnn, registration is a 2-step process, correct?
    I did go to the SOS site, registered, and then received a confirmation Email.
    But when I clicked the link in that Email, and logged in — it says “this account is not active.” So I just wait for you to verify/activate ?
    [just making sure that my brain thinks the same way as the computer … ]

  2. Thank you so much to those of you who have registered on the new site. I realized that I have to ‘approve’ and activate any new members (which is good thing and is a result of the security measures I have set up).

    So, since I really do not live on my computer (although it does seem like that) please be patient if you register and then are unable to sign in or participate in the website. I will ‘activate’ you as soon as I can.

  3. JoAnn, I am having trouble even creating the account. When it asks to pick the type of membership, I am unable to click on “trial”, and it’s the only option available. Is this a glitch?

  4. JoAnn.
    looks great. I got shivers and happy thoughts when I read the quote on the opening page. “Never fear the shadows. They simply mean the light is nearby.” How wonderful!! Makes me want to cry for happy reasons.

    So with the new site we are using our real names…or are we to use made up ones…because I don’t see how they will link me to flora? Or should I be using flora with last name and then put real name in the second place to put my name?

    My only comment so far is that the links to the forum and chats are on the lower left corner. They are not easy to see or find there. Usually on websites the stuff in the grey box on the bottom is least improtant, like contact us, return policy, etc. Maybe a colored shadow box or something to make them pop??

    I am very excited to see how this grows and how to use it. It looks really great! Thank You JoAnn.

  5. Hi flora,

    Thanks for the great comments and suggestions. I really need those suggestions to make the site the very best for all of you.

    When signing up please use the same ‘user name’ as what you are called here, as well as the same e-mail address as that is how I check them. Put your real name where it is required. That should keep things straight. I am keeping the site as secure as possible and security will be even more tight when only paid subscribers are allowed. If you make a mistake, or want to change something, just e-mail me and I will delete your subscription and you can start all over.

    I do agree that the links to the forum, groups, members and activity should be moved up, and I am working on that. The design of the site requires so much coding and so many places that need to be changed, it is not quite as easy as fixing something in print. You would be surprised with the goofy pages that come up when I make one little change! No complaints here though–I love it!

    I made a very secure chat page that you can get to by clicking the link on the menu. The chat box in the corner has been left there on purpose as I pay for tech support for some of that software and they will be looking at it to fix that security leak.

    Go ahead and use the forums and the Chat link in the menu. Also, I put in that cool ‘Map pf Visitors’. Click that, use the drop down menus to choose the type of map you want, and be sure to change the time frame (minutes, hours, etc.) and then click ‘Go’ and you will see a map with little dots from everyone who has been on the site within the time frame you chose. Also, if you hover your mouse pointer over the dot until the little ‘hand’ shows up, it will give you the name of the city and state where they are. Check the world map too, I do have subscribers from all over the world.

  6. Your welcome. So many features so exciting. Yes go ahead and delete the profile I just made as I do want to rename myself with the name on this site.

    Thanks JoAnn.

    I like that the site is for all who need help. funny thing i was thinking of creating a group here in my state for the very same thing. It would provide support for all. Memebers do not need to be in need, but can also just share their wisdom. Going through this it was very revealing how little help or support there really is for us or any one who needs help. Men have men’s groups; but where are the womens groups? I think a sisterhood of support is a splendid idea. I think just having a group of women together to share their thoughts and ideas does two things. 1. when you are need you have non -judgemental people to talk with 2. when you feel you are able to help; you can give back. I feel it is great to give back and am looking for a volunteer position. So I too was contemplating this same thing. So I will be excited when the feature starts which will connect people to form groups in areas. I will be happy to coordinate one.

  7. flora, how wonderful. That is exactly what I am hoping for. That women all over the country, in fact, all over the world, will be able to find one another through this site. Then they can connect, chat, talk on the phone, meet for lunch or start a local group. I am putting together a guidebook for starting a support group (in my spare time) that will help with that.

    I am just so impressed with the quality and integrity of all of the women who share here. It makes me heart fill with wonder and joy. Damn, if we ran the world just think what a great place it would be!

  8. PLEASE!

    No one is using the ‘Chat’ page. After you are signed in, click the ‘Chat’ tab at the top of the page. That is a secure area where you can chat and share any information you like.

    Do not use the chat in the lower right hand corner. Until that security leak is fixed anyone can see what you write.

    And, most of all, have a little fun!

  9. It has come to my attention that there is a problem with last names of subscribers and I need to address this with all of you. The sign in requires your ‘full name’, that is part of the default software–I cannot change that field. Now, my understanding of this software was that only the user name would show up in the member list and your last name would only be in my data base.

    Well, last names are showing up in the members list. I realize that only members can see this, but I also understand that many of you may not want your last name showing even to other signed in members.

    Please, if you have registered, check out the new site. Click on the ‘member’s link at the bottom of the page. If your name is listed there in a manner that you don’t want, e-mail me and I will delete you as a member, e-mail you that this has been accomplished, and then you can re register without putting your last name in. (See my comment below.)

    I certainly hope that this has not caused any distress to anyone. That is the last thing I would want to do.

  10. Whew! Okay, I think we have the name problem solved–at least my part. After you are logged in and you click on ‘Members’ from the bottom menu you will see a list of all the members along with their avatars and user names. No last names should be listed there. If I missed any just let me know by e-mail.

    Now, for the second part. For any of you who did sign in with your last name it will still be showing if anyone clicks to see your profile. Only you can fix this. After you sign in go to the black menu bar at the very top of the screen and put your mouse pointer over ‘my account’, then scroll down to ‘profile’ then click on ‘edit profile’. Just delete your last name and save the changes and it will be gone.

    Gads, I certainly hope this is the last of the ‘big’ things that need to be fixed. Thanks to all of you for putting up with this. I never intended to compromise anyone’s feeling of security or safety. It’s been a long day, I’m heading for the showers.

  11. JoAnn,
    Looks like the site is already off to a great start with alot of members already. I did check out the map, that is way cool. There are actually people in my state, although really not the hard to beleive. Very neat feature. You must have also studied web design to do all of this. Many neat and clever ideas and perks.
    Thanks again.

  12. JoAnn, my profile on Sisterhood looks great! When I’d logged on a couple days ago, it showed my real first & last name (? don’t know if all members could have seen). But I really appreciate your hard work re-doing the security, THANK YOU!
    Well, I “can’t imagine” why I’m extra-diligent about keeping my personal info off the internet since discovery of my husband’s SA. [sarcasm] You never know what some less-than-healthy person might do with MY photos/personal info out there in cyberspace …

  13. It’s always something!

    I just received a notice from my web hosting company, saying:

    With this notification we would like to inform you that our in-house Website Performance Monitoring System (WPMS) has signaled that your account sisterhoodofsupport.com constantly uses a large amount of the server’s CPU resources.

    Your account’s CPU usage is 153 500 script executions per day. The industry standard for CPU usage of an account is 12 000.

    Now they want to increase my hosting charges to $219.00 per month!

    I’ll be shopping around, but they may cut me off before the end of the day.

    That’s what I get for dreaming big!

  14. JoAnn, Sorry to bother you with another glitch but I tried to access the new web site, using both firefox and safari, and I can’t connect. Every time I get a “connection timed out” message. I didn’t have any problems prior to today and haven’t changed any of my computer settings. Any thought on what might be the problem? Are there any other computer settings that have to be enabled? Ha, even computers are using “enabling” language now! Thanks again and good luck.

  15. Okay guys, get ready for some really funky shit on the new website. I’m going to try to ‘back out’ of some of the bandwidth hogging stuff and still keep the integrity of the site so I don’t have to upgrade my hosting costs.

    Best case scenario, I will not be able to offer free blog set up and hosting for everyone.

    Worst case scenario is that I will have to reinstall everything and start from square one 🙁

    So, if you see funny stuff happening, it’s just me doing my thing.

  16. Well, after testing everything all afternoon on a test site that I use for this sort of thing, I think I was able to decrease the bandwidth enough to make my hosting company happy. I sent them an e-mail, so, we’ll see.

    As of now the site is working splendidly, all the code changes, eliminating the blog set up and hosting capability, reinstalling the important software and grabbing the old data from the databases seems to have worked. Cross your fingers, because if my hosting company comes back and says it’s not good enough I’m dumping them.

    Then it will be really tricky to transfer back ups and data bases to another hosting company. 🙁

  17. More tweaks this morning and I finally got the hosts CPU meter down into the green. I’ll be on the site doing my thing. The way it looks now everything should be working. Still have a few glitches like the e-mail to other members still has a problem and creating groups and forums still has a few bugs.

    But you should be able to chat and post comments in any of the forums. Thanks so much for all of your patience with this project. Without all of you testing it I would be working on it for the next few months to do what you have helped me do in just a few short days.

    Thank you.

  18. HOORAY!!!!!!!!!

    My hosting company just ran a check on my usage and it went from over 117,000 down to 1,490! Looks like I fixed it! Now I can get to work on the real stuff on the website instead of trying to fix problems.

    I really can’t complain though, this will be a complicated site and the problems that I had were relatively minor.

  19. JoAnn, I’m still having a problem accessing the main page, with both firefox and safari. I keep getting this message: Safari can’t open the page “http://sisterhoodofsupport.com/” because the server where this page is located isn’t responding. I just ran a two hour virus scan just to be sure that my computer wasn’t infected. Still can’t pull up the main page, let alone log in. My apologies to all other members for not participating but I will as soon as possible. Does anyone have any suggestions on why this is happening? I had no problems registering a few days ago and, other than this issue, my computer seems to be working o.k. Thanks.

  20. Ann, I am so sorry that you are having so many issues. Since I am able to log in through both Firefox and Safari on my main computer, let me check logins from my other computers and get back to you. Do you have the latest version of Safari and Firefox? There may also be an issue with your firewall. I’ll check into it.

  21. I was able to sign on to SOS at its very start, but then just by Sunday (1/16), I was not able to do so. I use Internet Explorer, and the diagnostic information said it would send a ping to the host, but it would bounce back. I am able to sign on through my work computer, so I am thinking there might be an issue with how my computer is accessing the site. Since I signed on before changes were made, I think my computer has the old address or information somewhere in my computer, directing me down the old “trail”. I am having trouble clearing that out to see if I can find my way there now that things have been fixed. Anyway, that is why I am no longer able to be there . . .

  22. Sorry everyone, but the site still has a few bugs. Tonight it will be transferred to the new hosting company, so with the extra room to run all of the functions, hopefully things will be easier. Just keep on trying, testing, and either posting here or e-mailing me with any glitches that you find.

    Thanks for all of your support.



  23. SUCCESS! The new website has been transferred to a new hosting company without a hitch. Now I will be able to add some of the new features that take up a lot of bandwidth. I could not be more pleased with the ease of transfer. The new company, PSEK Hosting, has been absolutely wonderful in protecting my databases, especially those with all the membership information.

    Today is a good day!

  24. I was unable to access the new site yesterday and this morning. When I clicked on the link above, I found that accessing it is a bit different for me. I now have to type in “sisterhoodofsupport.com” without the “www” before it to get there. I can’t say whether that is the case for everyone, but that is my experience.

    Thanks, JoAnn, for the new site! It’s been great so far and I know it will get even better!

  25. A message to Rachel Jo,

    I received this message from you:

    Subject: Sisters of support web site

    Message: I have tried to join and when I tried to log on it tells me
    that I have the wrong password. Help. I’d like to join.

    I have tried twice to reply with a new password for you but yahoo rejects my reply saying you do not have a yahoo account. Please contact me again with your correct e-mail address. Thanks

  26. Hi Joann I was on S.O.S and I can not use chat it says Sorry, no access. This section is for members only. I tryed to contact you and it says the same thing. Thank you for all that you do for us,katt

  27. Hi Lou and katt,

    Yes, the Chat function has been a real issue with me. There are so many different types of Chat software available, and right now I am testing them using their free trials. Most have security issues, which is just unacceptable on a site like Sisterhood, but there are so many other issues like compatibility with the software that I am already running and features available.

    Please be reassured that the only people who can see that open chat box is other members on the site, but I certainly can understand your need for privacy when chatting with one of your friends on the site.

    I am still diligently searching for a relatively inexpensive chat program that will offer a private chat room feature.

    Bear with me during this beta testing phase. I really do understand the privacy issues that we all face and trust me, I will keep you safe.

    Thanks for the input.


  28. Hi JoAnn,
    Just wanted to say how much I really like the new site and have already been using. It is really nice and I am sure was alot of hard work.

    Thanks again,

  29. I was trying to log into S.O.S. and it showed my avatar like I was signed in and an option to log out but nothing was available to me. It said for subscribers only. I have been able to use the site previously so i am not sure what happened. i logged out and tried to log in a few times. If it is a temp thing sorry to bug you otherwise Thanks!

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