Guidelines For Using This Website

Often I get requests asking for advice or for me to provide e-mail addresses or phone numbers of other readers so that a personal connection can be made.

I understand that need for such a connection, as well as the need for a private, open forum for sharing, and that’s why I developed my other website, The Sisterhood of Support.

But, this site, Married To A Sex Addict, was developed for Partners Of Sex Addicts to  gain insight by reading the stories and articles that I post and by sharing their experiences and thoughts by  commenting on that particular story or article.

Sharing your own experiences as it pertains to the article or story is exactly what I feel will help the story writer or visitors who are reading the article. But posting your own story and asking for help or advice takes the focus off of the original story or article and makes it impossible for others to search and find the information that they may be looking for. It causes the site to become quite disorganized.

In addition, this is not a forum type site where people can post back and forth and start their own topics or stories and ask for advice.

The reason for that is that it would cost too much for me to have the type of hosting service that has enough space for that on a free website.

Once again this month, as has happened before, my web hosting company is letting me know that I am ready to exceed my bandwidth, which means if I don’t pay more this month the site will shut down for the rest of the month.

As to the requests for sharing of personal information or requests for advice from me. That could become a huge liability and could open both myself and the visitors to this site, to all sorts of trouble as I do not screen the people who comment here like I do on the Sisterhood site. This site gets almost 15,000 unique visitors every month, so it doesn’t take much imagination to figure out the types of abuses that could occur. And, I simply do not have the time to address all these requests.

So, I encourage you to read the ‘Website Guidelines’, available through the menu above and follow them carefully. Your cooperation will allow this website to continue offering support to Partners of Sex Addicts all over the world.

 

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Responses

  1. This is for the women story Deep in the woods, I am now in your same boat, I just realized my husband is a sex addict. Unfortunately for me after years of suffering only thinking that it was one infidelity I now find my self 58 married 39 years. This truth all just came out. He has wasted my life, he should of told me 27 years ago when he gave me warts that here had been others before that. He lied and made me live with his abuse 27 more years. You sound young enough to still get out. I do regret I ever married him. I do believe you when you say you love him. I love my sick husband. But I could of got over that 27 years ago. It is much harder now.

  2. OMG my heart cries for you. I was married for almost 30 years. Actually I married him twice! So he made an idiot out of me twice! He was arrested for soliciting a prostitute, i found all kinds of xxxrated magazines, porn films. I called him on these, but like all addicts, he lied. So, i figured now I’ll play dumb. He thought I was a complete idiot on the computer, so I let him to believe that, this way I could always check what he was doing on-line. Everyday I would say to myself, I can’t put up with this anymore, but I had to children I bought into the world, and I promised myself and them that I would give them every tool to have a better life. I “turned the other cheek”. I payed the price now! Im alone, Im so mad, angy, hurt, all the “coulda, shoudda, wouldas” keep playing in my head. So I agree with you, I tell women GET OUT NOW before they become too old, too hurt, just plain emotional tired. Im sorry, but I have to disagree with some people who fell that these “sex addicts” can be cured. NOT….they are self-rightous, manapulative, condescending, nasty,selfish, all about me personalaities! My daughter has her masters in Criminal Phys, and she told me “mom, a person is who they are, their behaivors might be modified somewhat, but at the core
    they are still the same leopard, with the same spots. They have addictive personalities, so even if they stoped one addiction, they find something else to be compulsive about.I am 59 years old, I threw him out for good 5 years ago, and not a day goes buy, when I fell hurt, en-raged, sad, and disappointed in myself for not having the “financial needs” to leave with my children and survive. So thats what I tell me children when they say, “Mom, why did you put up with this” and I say…cause I love you, I wanted you to get the best education,so that one day you WONT have to put up with an abusive partner, you will have the TOOLS to make it on your OWN’

  3. I am currently in the same situation. I have been married for over 8 years now. We have 3 beautiful children. My husband is the kindest hardest working man I know. In the past he has watched porn here and there but it’s never been in issue until lately. He works crazy so when he says he’s to tired to have anything to do with me, I believe it. Then I turn around and fine hime hiding porn and transsexual porn on his phone. He is very distant and never even looks at me. The addiction is ruin our marriage. If I find it he goes crazy. He will not reason with me or try to understand how I feel. I feel worthless I feel like I am no longer good enough for him. This is not my life and this is not my husband. I just dont’ know what to do or how to feel!! : (

  4. Elise, and any other wife off a SA, I strongly recommend that husbands get sex addiction counseling, do a full disclosure with a polygrapher trained for this purpose and then do a follow up polygraph every 4 to 6 months to assure yourself that you are safe and as incentive to keep him from acting out. This has allowed me to stay with my SA husband without worrying about what he is doing. There are therapists who are trained to treat this behavior. It is expensive, but for those of us in long term marriages it is often cheaper than divorce. According to my internist and my psychiatrist the recidivism rate without intense therapy is 95%. These men lie and say anything to keep us under control. Their word means nothing. It has now been about 18 months since discovery and we have been married 38 years. My husband schedules his own lie detector appointment every six months. It was a condition of our staying together. It helps a lot.

  5. I’m 35 years old with a 9 year old daughter by another man who was a mentally abusive alcoholic. I got out when she was 2. My man picker seems to be broken. I have been with my boy friend for a little over 2 years. A year and a half ago, I had a gut feeling something was wrong because he was very distant with me. So i looked at his text messages. He was texting ex gf that he was still madly in love with her along with texting prostitutes on backpage. I had finally lost my cool and confronted him about it. He ran to the bathroom and deleted all the messages, asking me what I was talking about and that I was being crazy. He told me he would quit…so he quit texting them and went to emailing backpage and Craigslist whores. I loved him so much, I gave him everything I had and he crapped on me. We are still together and every couple of months I check his phone, email and all. He still hasn’t quit. He can go months without sex and I blame myself, thinking I am physically disgusting. I starved myself and dropped 80 lbs thinking that would catch his eye. Nope, he didn’t care. He says he loves me. I really have no proof that he has ever had physical contact with any of these whores. He told me it was the thrill of the chase. I have not confronted him ever again because I don’t want to be called crazy but the more i think about all of it, the less i like him. I dont know how to leave though, we have so many friends in common im afraid ill have no one if i walk away. It’s nice to see I’m not the only one that is going through this.