lunchboxI received an e-mail today that was very disturbing. When I tried to respond my reply was returned as undeliverable. My second try resulted in the same.

I am posting this person’s cry for help here in an effort to reach her, as I feel that the issues of pedophilia and incest are very serious. Please feel free to offer your comments or support.

Here is the e-mail:

Subject: help

Message:

my boyfriend is a sex addict-he stole my 21 year old daughters memory card and printed her pictures out and i found them in his lunch box for 9 years he has been a father to her in every way,short of giving birth to her himself this act has broken me im at a loss he i seeing a shrink since this has happen 2 visits so far this dr has only had 3 sa clients in his 40 plus years of service is this another dead end where do i turn

Hi xxxxxx,

I’m so sorry for what you are going through right now. I do understand the pain.

This is a very serious issue.

Let me say that again. THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS ISSUE!

You need to focus on yourself and your daughter. You need to recognize that there may have been other inappropriate conduct between your boyfriend and your daughter over the last nine years. She may or may not have been aware of it, but it does need to be addressed. Can you talk to her about this? Does she know that he had her photos?

That would be the first thing I would do–talk to her. She may feel so traumatized or embarrassed that she may resist talking about it, but you do need to approach her as she may need intensive counseling. And, if there has been inappropriate contact you, and her, both need to file charges against this man.

You need to find a counselor for yourself. You have undergone a huge trauma and you need help to work through it.

Your bf’s counseling is his own issue. It would be best if he found a counselor who specializes in Sex Addiction, but these can be difficult to find. The next best thing would be to find a counselor who would work on your bf’s childhood issues and how they connect to what is happening today. I have no doubt that your bf has a tragic background.

Please, please, take that first step and talk to your daughter about this and get some counseling for yourself. If you feel comfortable enough, let me put your story on my site and you can share the wisdom of all of the other women who have experienced similar problems.

Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

Hugs and all my best,

JoAnn