I received this heartbreaking story in my e-mail today. It is the classic example of how Partners are scammed and abused not only by their SAs, but by the therapeutic community as well. This needs to stop! ~ JoAnn
This month will make one year since I discovered my husband’s sex addiction. Since then he’s been through inpatient for sex addiction treatment, goes to meetings, has a sponsor, does therapy.
I however, have dropped out of therapy because I consider it to be feeding the narcissistic monster! I’ve come to feel that traditional SA therapy babies the addict.
He’s been taught that “he is not his addiction”, which in my opinion is a cop out on taking responsibility. How can one be sorry for something one doesn’t have ownership of? In short, I had more hope a year ago after I discovered everything than I do a year later.
My SA is more arrogant and now self righteous than ever! His therapist has withheld “full disclosure” because I’m not in therapy myself!
A year later, I’m still not sure what I’m dealing with! It’s all so insane and unhealthy. Yesterday, my SA accused me of being abusive and manipulative…& accused me of being “just as guilty” for our marital issues as he is.
Really? Our marital issue ALL stem from his chronic lying, manipulation and cheating. How can a person in therapy and so called “recovery” say this a year into their “treatment”. And what’s worse is that there’s a whole army of therapists and support groups out there that share this addict-centered, poor broken baby, mentality!
My SA’s focus is utterly on himself, there’s no empathy or responsibility taking for the destruction he’s brought upon me… It’s all about him and “relieving” him of his toxic shame? Has anyone else had this experience?