Sharing our stories is good therapy. Women do this well; we laugh, we cry, we talk, pace, gesture and pull our hair out. We throw things, eat, purge, binge, scream and vent with each other. Then, when the storm has passed, we hug one another and sit down together to [...]
Underneath that rage lies a world of hurt and betrayal; one that began long before I considered marrying my second sex addict. Yeah, I did it twice.
Sometimes letters from my readers really touch my soul. I get many private e-mails through the 'Contact' page, which I always answer. Sometimes one will really take me back. Here is my answer to one of those that talked about finding out those devastating facts while monitoring her husband's computer.
Forgiving your Sex Addict spouse or partner does not mean that they are no longer responsible for their actions, nor does forgiveness mean that you accept their behavior. Forgiveness is not the same as a 'pardon', which means to release from punishment. Forgiveness means you let go of the anger and resentment that drains your soul of any sense of peace
Loving a Sex Addict certainly has it’s challenges especially early in recovery, but a few stand out as particularly difficult. Which of these challenges do you and your spouse or partner have the most trouble with and how do you resolve the conflict? Building Trust Trust is necessary for you to feel safe in a relationship. Do you trust your spouse/partner? What do they do to build your trust? Dealing with Anger Anger and it’s honest expression is vital to our recovery. Sex Addicts have a difficult time dealing with our anger. How has anger affected your relationship? Establishing Boundaries Boundaries empower you, they allow you to take control and establish what you will and will not allow in the relationship. How do you communicate your boundaries to your spouse or partner? […]
Ahhhhhh…ANGER! If you are not familiar with it you better get used to living with your new best friend. Anger is the second stage of grief and for most of us who are confronted with our spouse’s Sex Addiction it is the emotion that stays with us the longest. Now, some people, such as counselors, co-12 step groups and the like will advise that we should avoid outbursts of anger and that we need to act in a ‘mature’ manner; that anger will have a negative effect on communication or that our expression of anger will cause the addict to withdraw and feel more shame. Well, sorry, I beg to differ here (and that’s putting it mildly). Unless and until you get all your anger out, […]