I will just cut to the chase….
My husband just recently admitted to being a sex addict. As to what extent I only know that he was watching porn on the internet and always wanted to have sex with me all the time or he would get very angry and would take it out on me!
We were coming home from church and he told me that he had something to tell me and that it isn’t easy for him to admit. He then told me he was a sex addict and wanted me to lock him out of the computer, which I have done. He also has a control issue and can not stand it when he is not making the decision about issues.
He is blaming all of this on me and has for 25 years. One of the reason I am to blame is that we only have sex once a week, and now that he has admitted to being a sex addict, he tells me that I need to help him and that all he is asking for is sex two times a week!
Early in our marriage he has messed around with other women, as to what happened in those relationships I do not know, nor will he tell me, but we have had a very brutal relationship both physical and mental. How we made it this far I do not know!
I do believe that I love my husband but that I am not truly happy! He says that I put him last on my list, and that everyone else in my life comes before him. He doesn’t want me out of his sight when he is at home, he doesn’t have anybody or anything in his life except for me, his son, church and work, and all of this is by his own choosing!
So in turn he believes that he is the “only” thing that I should want in mine but because it isn’t and because I don’t help him by giving him sex twice a week, and by not letting him be the husband over me, “I AM THE BAD WIFE”.
I am a very outgoing person, I come from a large family with many problems, I have three wonderful sons and only 1 of them is his, I was married before. I love helping people and doing things outside of my home. I have my own home daycare which keeps me in and around my house 5 days a week from 6:00a.m. to 6:00p.m.
I tend to feel that I want to help my husband at this time, but I do not know how to. He curses at me, tells me how bad I am as a wife and says if I had only given him sex that all of this fighting would not have happened!
What are the first things that I need to do to help him?