Written by I just have such anger over the way a lot of the 12 step groups are run. These meetings are only as good as their members, and, unfortunately, many of the members simply use the meetings as a cover for their acting out. As long as they tell their wives and partners that they are ‘going to my meetings every week’ and ‘you need to let me work my program myself (hear–stay out of my business)’ then the ‘little woman’ has nothing to complain about. Right? It’s just such an issue of deceit and control it makes me want to puke!
I hate that I’ve had to find this site but I’m so very happy that it exists. This is so very new to me that I still can’t believe it has happened. I keep hoping to wake up from this nightmare. I exposed the disgusting secret that my husband was trying to keep from me just a few weeks ago.
Diane mentioned this song in her last comment. I thought I would share this beautiful song by Mark Cohn with all of you. It made me cry.
The light bulb went off when I finally realized that just because I loved him didn’t mean that I had to stay with him. I could keep my love. Keep the good things. Keep the memories that I chose to keep even if they were now tainted with deceit. I could make those choices. That love was my precious emotion, mine to do with as I pleased. Loving someone does not mean you have to stay.
I’m interested in hearing from others if anyone’s spouse attended workshops or in patient treatment at the Meadows or any center. A quick search of your site didn’t turn up anything on it but I’m not sure I have the format down well enough and may have missed it.
Can you direct me to any threads where this was discussed or start one asking if anyone has feedback on any institutions or experience with a treatment program they’d like to share.