Aly’s Story of Living With a Sex Addict
I have been married to a sex addict for 10 years. 3 years together prior to that. He has been an SA for pretty much all of his adult life. I am his second wife, he lost the first one because of his addiction.
Prostitution-Don’t Legalize it! Criminalize the Buyer!
Yes, I have heard, and sadly have previously agreed, that prostitution always has and always will be around, so why not just legalize it? But there was always that nagging hurt inside of me for the women. Something just wasn't right about legalizing an industry that exploits women. An industry that caters to the base instincts of men who think that money can buy another human being and allow them to use and abuse that human being in any way they choose. An industry where men, and only men--the johns and the pimps, benefit at the expense of the objectified and abused women.
Spring, Our Time to Emerge as Beautiful Butterflies
Spring is a time of rebirth and renewal. I was profoundly moved this week as I watched a butterfly emerge from her chrysalis and I thought of myself and all of you who are emerging into a new life as beautiful butterflies.The photo that I took is on the left.
I apologize for not writing any posts in a while. Spring has sprung here in Missouri and, with lots of flower beds and landscaped terraces screaming for my attention I have been up to my elbows in planting, weeding and outdoor clean up. And, this weekend my son and his family are in from out of town, so grandma will be busy cooking and soaking up lots of love.
I have also been very busy working the bugs out of some new audio/visual production software (I love Adobe) to provide podcasts and interviews for this site. (more…)
Why Do Relationships With Sex Addicts Become So Dysfunctional?
The effects of living with a Sex Addict are subtle but deep, destructive to our sense of safety, emotionally devastating and life changing. As the relationship with a Sex Addict progresses our personalities change. We try to find normal ways to deal with an abnormal situation. Sex Addicts have two sides to their personalities and the deception over who they are, what they believe in and what they are doing presents an ever changing, contradictory picture that is impossible to make sense of.
Standing By You
So many of you are experiencing such crisis in your lives. I can only hope that each and every one of you know that my wish is not only to give you hope and comfort through this web site, but also to raise the collective energy to help you through these tough times.
J Shares Her Story of Marriage with a Sex Addict
For you to share with my blessing, hoping it will do some good for someone as well as allow me to release a little bit of pain. Please just call me J.
Thanks!
Here is my story. It is exhausting to tell. I feel like I need to tell it though, because for the first time in my life my silence and shame about being married to a sex addict is ending and I am opening up to sharing and hence, erasing the fear. Forgive me if my details are confusing at any point. I have large portions of memory/time that are lost to me. I guess we can experience something like PTSD when we have internalized being married to an addict for so long. What do you think? I am intelligent, capable and loving, from a loving childhood home, yet I have not escaped the pain of sex addiction in my marriage. (more…)
Anatomy of a Sex Addict with Multiple Addictions. Thora’s Story.
Those of you who have been following this site know that I recently censured a comment posted by a reader named thora1. I did this because it contained graphic descriptions of her sexual behaviors.
I have decided to post her story here, with just a few portions deleted and with my thoughts placed within her story in bold. The reason that I have chosen to feature Thora’s story is because she is an active Sex Addict with multiple addictions who is in a relationship with another Sex Addict who is also a drug addict.
Why should we care about this? Well, first, because she is a woman in pain who has reached out to us. And, in addition, her minimizing and denial is so perfectly articulated I felt that my readers would get a better understanding of how Sex Addicts tick.
I have been brutally critical with Thora and I hope she will understand that the only way she can ever recover is to face her addictions and do the things she must to change her life. It will be interesting to see if she is up to the challenge.
Here is her original story with my comments in bold. (more…)
Should Sex Addicts Get a Second Chance?
When is is appropriate to give a Sex Addict a second chance at the relationship? What does your spouse or partner have to do to deserve a second chance?
Jenn’s Story of Loving a Sex Addict
One woman's story of what it is like to live with and love a Sex Addict.
I Am Not A Co-Sex Addict!
I have seen a troubling trend, especially within the scientific community. That trend is the labeling of those involved with a Sex Addict, or any addict for that matter, as a co-addict. Because counselors and Sex Addiction treatment centers look toward the scientific community for guidance I expect to soon see the term co-addict routinely used to indicate someone who is in a relationship with a Sex Addict.
Are You Living In Denial?
Denial is denying our own intuition, ignoring our gut feelings. It is blatantly overlooking what is right in front of us. As we begin to doubt ourselves the rationalizations of the Sex Addict actually start to make sense to us.
Topic From Forum–Rebuilding Trust
One of the most difficult aspects of Sex Addiction that we spouses and partners have to deal with is How do I ever learn to trust him again? Maybe a better question is–should we ever trust them again?