Does any sex addict ever stop? Is it possible. Can they? Will they. Here is a story from one of our readers who wants to know if her sex addict husband can stop. ~ JoAnn
I don’t really know if I’m relieved or disappointed to have found this site. Relieved to know I’m not alone yet disappointed to see what a serious issue this actually is. I don’t live in a bubble by any means but I really had no idea that I was facing an addiction so widespread. I live in a fairly small southern coastal town and have mainly dated guys that treat me well and are very sweet, spoil me really, yet married (and have since divorced) two that were sweet and charming then turned out to be bipolar jerks. I have three awesome boys from my previous marriages.
I swore I’d never ever get married again and then I met him. Tall, charming as hell with a clever and sexy whit that no one could compare to. Opens the door for me always and beautiful blue eyes that make a girl melt. Not the most attractive face but he made up for that the second he spoke. He swept me off my unsweepable feet in a matter of weeks and the walls I’d spent so much time building up came down with him so very easily. It scared me how much I fell in love with him.
We were married one month short of a year later in an exotic setting. Our friends were envious of the story book love that they saw develop between us and I even heard one say, “I’m just waiting to find what the two of you have.”
I don’t know what made me look at his computer history one day, he gave me no reason to suspect anything but I just had a feeling I needed to look. It was completely riddled with porn sites and escort sites…an insane amount, I was beside myself.
When I asked him about it he said he was only looking and that it was nothing that he wasn’t jerking off to it or meeting anyone from them that it was just a way to unwind and asked, “are we going to be ok after this?”
He and I had no issues with our sex life what so ever, we’d watch porn together sometimes and it didn’t bother me, we explored each other’s sexuality and were very open and comfortable with each other in that way.
I began finding sexual texts to a female “friend” of his saying he wanted to be alone with her and hadn’t thought of her as much as he had as of late since he was 16. That bs was stopped but the escort sites didn’t stop, he only switched to a private browser and got better and hiding his tracks. I’m a pretty computer savvy and was able to track his private browsing. I found adultfriendfinder.com, friendfinderx.com, eccie, MeetMe, Eros, Ashley Maddison, backpage, frogs list personals and even busted him one morning picking up a hooker while I was home in bed. He said nothing happened and that she was gross and he just took her home. I believed him, he can be so very convincing.
While he was out of town on a work trip I found his profile on swinglifestyle.com…he’d posted pictures of me on there as if we were looking for a third. That was it. I was done and told him so. He berated me in texts, saying such horrible venomous things…as charming with words as he can be he’s equally evil with them when he wants to be. He switched gears and started telling me he’s so sorry and can’t believe the things he’s said and done to me and how he loves me, blah blah blah and tells me he has to stop in another town for a new tire because he’s having a problem with one. Turns out he stopped in that town for a hooker I later found out…one week ago I found this out…one week ago I found out he’s has sex five times since we’ve been married (at this time we’d been married less than a year). He says it will never happen again and all of the other bs he’s so good at pulling off.
I don’t know what to do. He wants to work it out and says he’s not a sex addict and can stop. I don’t know what to believe. I’m a freelance videographer but now I work with him at his business and he sold my camera because we were having money problems. My kids love him and he’s their father figure. I don’t want a third divorce and I don’t want to shake up the lives of my kids but I don’t know if he really can stop and I feel so absolutely betrayed because he’s so easily lied to me. He said after the escorts he would sit in the car yelling at himself for what he’d done.
I don’t know if he really will stop or only appear to or only for a short period. I’m so absolutely torn up about all of this. I really can’t believe I let my walls fall down for someone that turned out like this. I just want to know if anyone has actually had their husband stop and had things work out.