Please do me a favor, commit or quit. The mere fact that you have asked to go on a trip like that and even threatened to book it any way (you obviously feel denied about it) has made me seriously question your commitment to your so called "recovery".
I'm interested in hearing from others if anyone's spouse attended workshops or in patient treatment at the Meadows or any center. A quick search of your site didn't turn up anything on it but I'm not sure I have the format down well enough and may have missed it. Can you direct me to any threads where this was discussed or start one asking if anyone has feedback on any institutions or experience with a treatment program they'd like to share.
It was less than two months since D-day. My spouse had begun to attend SA meetings. He was quite light-hearted these days, feeling proud of his first step toward sobriety. I was also proud of him, and very affirming whenever possible. But strange things were happening—new strange things.
Sometimes letters from my readers really touch my soul. I get many private e-mails through the 'Contact' page, which I always answer. Sometimes one will really take me back. Here is my answer to one of those that talked about finding out those devastating facts while monitoring her husband's computer.
About 9 months ago, I have started feeling he is keeping some secrets from me,,,,work trips extending to the weekends, spending days at a friend s house in Belgium that I have never heard of! When I finally got so frustrated and confronted him, he told me his dark secret…it was more than I could bear.
How many times have you bought a book but only needed the information in one or two chapters? The Married To A Sex Addict Survival Series allows you to choose the topics that you need when you need them. The Survival Series focuses on specific issues that affect those of us who are casualties of Sex Addiction, and addresses these issues specifically toward someone who is involved with a Sex Addict.
I just came across a fairly accurate description of what happens in an inpatient Sex Addiction rehab facility, and rather than trying to rephrase and rewrite it in my own words,
Our path to recovery starts with discovery. The ways that each of us find out about our spouse’s Sexual Addiction are as varied as the types of addiction. Some of us are jolted into painful reality with a phone call from the local jail, the other woman or man, or just by having to face the overwhelming evidence that we have been trying to ignore. Rarely, our spouse may have become so distressed with their way of life that they will shock us with a confession. But, however it happens, the initial discovery is only the beginning. It took over four years for my husband to reveal the full spectrum of his addictive activities. This partial disclosure is quite common among Sex Addicts. Often those who are confronted will vehemently deny any wrongdoing and only fess up to what absolutely cannot be denied. This kind of behavior can make you crazy. Not only is the frustration enough to make you want to scream, but over time a more insidious pattern emerges where we begin to doubt ourselves. […]
I’ve seen it happen so many times. A Sex Addiction is discovered. There are tears and screams, anger, pain, threats and lots of smoke and mirrors. After the dust settles you have conversations–lots of them, some good, most of them bad, but it helps clear the air. Then you are both spent, emotionally drained. That’s when it happens. And it happens early, usually within the first few weeks or maybe even a few months of the time of the discovery. Both of you start to talk about the future, and there is hope. Your spouse or partner glows with new insights and understanding of their addiction. Apologies, flowers, poems and letters of undying love flow like quicksilver and date nights filled with passion bring a sense of renewed commitment. You let your guard down and start to hope again. I like to compare this to the eye of a hurricane. […]
Loving a Sex Addict certainly has it’s challenges especially early in recovery, but a few stand out as particularly difficult. Which of these challenges do you and your spouse or partner have the most trouble with and how do you resolve the conflict? Building Trust Trust is necessary for you to feel safe in a relationship. Do you trust your spouse/partner? What do they do to build your trust? Dealing with Anger Anger and it’s honest expression is vital to our recovery. Sex Addicts have a difficult time dealing with our anger. How has anger affected your relationship? Establishing Boundaries Boundaries empower you, they allow you to take control and establish what you will and will not allow in the relationship. How do you communicate your boundaries to your spouse or partner? […]