Sometimes it helps to take a look at the comical side of tragedy. Now I know that Sex Addiction is no laughing matter, but often the excuses are. And, not only are the stories uncreative, implausible and transparent it is also comical that they somehow think their tall tales will convince us of their innocence. Sometimes I think they all went to the same school of absurdity as almost all Sex Addicts come up with the same lines. Here are a few of my favorites:
I swear, it was the very first time I ever did that.
It was only once.
It was only twice.
I never intended to meet her, I was just playing mind games with her.
I never intended to do anything, I just wanted to meet her.
We’re just friends.
She propositioned me.
I was just curious.
I was just testing myself.
I just wanted to see if I could resist the temptation.
I don’t know how those porn sites got on my computer.
Porn sites pop up on everyone’s computer.
I spent all that money on stuff for the office.
I must have gotten it from a toilet seat.
It doesn’t mean anything if I just look.
The (credit card company), (bank), (telephone company) must have made a mistake.
You are imagining things.
That stuff must belong to our son.
You wouldn’t understand–it’s a guy thing.
It’s just entertainment, it doesn’t mean anything.
I just have a high sex drive.
I’m not as bad as some guys.
I only look at pictures, what’s so bad about that?
I wasn’t lying, I was protecting you.
And my favorite, when all else fails…
I don’t remember!
A half-truth is a whole lie. ~ Jewish Proverb