Holiday
My husband and I just returned from a Caribbean cruise. I knew the environment would have challenges for him, but I was pleasantly surprised as he really did well. The…
Staggered Disclosures
Why can’t they just tell me everything and get it over with?
That is probably the most painful cry of spouses and partners of Sex Addicts. We get information in bits and pieces, or as one woman put it, ‘on the installment plan’. Even when confronted with black and white evidence Sex Addicts just can’t seem to admit what they have done. Even though we beg them for the whole story we only get a few paragraphs at a time.
And every time a new ‘truth’ comes out, every time we hear another contradiction or find out about another lie we feel as if the old wounds have been ripped open and doused with salt. And with every new disclosure we are thrown back to square one, left to start all over again picking up the pieces (more…)
Sex Addiction–Fact or Fiction?
Is there really such a thing as Sexual Addiction? Is Sex Addiction an uncontrollable, inbred, genetic disorder that cannot be reversed or cured? Is Sex Addiction a psychological disorder brought about by childhood trauma or abuse? Or, are Sex Addicts simply self-centered, immature and immoral jerks; individuals who lack impulse control and who seek pleasurable experiences without considering the consequences?
Ask ten counselors or psychiatrists and you will probably get at least that many answers. The major 12 step groups for Sex Addicts have varying but similar views (more…)
Media Coverage Of Sex Addiction Can Help Alleviate Shame
Wow! You can’t get more mainstream than the Wall Street Journal! In my research I ran across this article and was impressed by it’s no-nonsense approach and helpful links.
Oprah, Good Morning America, Dr. Phil and many others in the media have done much to educate the public about the problem of Sex Addiction and as the public becomes more aware of the seriousness of this issue the stigma and sensationalism of the topic will hopefully decline. I am optimistic that this education of the masses will have a positive ripple effect on all Sex Addicts.
Sexual Addiction is based on shame. The addict, for whatever reason, (more…)
Addiction Recovery
Probably the most controversial issue surrounding addictions of all types is recovery. Most recovery programs are based on the AA 12 step model. Statistics are difficult to decipher and recovery rates vary from 5% to almost 100%. The higher stats don’t take into account all the members who come to a few meetings and, for whatever reason, never return. Of course, those who stay will claim a 100% recovery rate.
Scientific data on the 12 step programs show that the recovery rate is almost exactly the same as no intervention at all, which will result in a spontaneous recovery of about 5% of addicts. It is unfortunate that the mindset of our society is (more…)
It’s Always About The Lies
From my journal: It always comes down to this when dealing with a Sex Addict. It's not about what they do, although that is vitally important, it's more about what…
Fostering Myths About Sex Addiction
As if spouses and partners of Sex Addicts don't have enough problems sometimes the media just adds to our grief by perpetuating myths thinly cloaked as science. While searching the…
Can Medication Help Sex Addicts?
This article was originally published on June 14, 2009 and updated on March 5, 2019. Medications serve an important role in the treatment of mental disorders so I wondered, can…
A New Book For Spouses Of Sex Addicts
Hello everyone! Welcome to my new blog. My name is JoAnn and I am married to a Sex Addict. Needless to say, the last four years, and the two years before my marriage, have been stressful, painful, disruptive and emotionally devastating. But, amid the chaos there also came a sense of growth, understanding and knowledge.
When I found out that my husband of three and a half months had a thousand dollar a month prostitute habit, my life fell apart. I sought help through counseling and my family endured my pain with grace and restraint. Fortunately I have a great support system (more…)