Sex Addiction explained. Causes, recovery, new methods of recovery, counseling, 12 steps, how spouses of Sex Addicts cope, what it is like to be married to a Sex Addict.
Here is Part Three of the four part series of interviews with Barbara Steffens. If you liked parts one and two, I'm sure you will enjoy this session. In Part Three Barbara discusses what effects stress and trauma have on our bodies and our minds, and what types of treatments are available.
I've gotten a little behind on posting Q&A section, so I thought I would put some of the questions, along with my answers, here so that each of you could respond if you wish. Here is a question from a reader called Rosy:
The internet is a wonderful source of information and has served to educate many of us, both young and old. But, unfortunately, it is also a free and easy method for our children to access inappropriate sexually explicit material at a very young age.
Lynn tells her story of her many years of living with an abusive, narcissistic Sex Addict.
After 17 ½ year into the marriage he told me of his sexual orientation. The 1st thing he said to me is “If I could change it I would”. Based on that, I agreed to stay and see what could be done. He agreed that there would be no further activity and he would leave no stone unturned in trying to sort out what had been done to him, the subsequent behavior and to see if his orientation could be changed or not.
About 9 months ago, I have started feeling he is keeping some secrets from me,,,,work trips extending to the weekends, spending days at a friend s house in Belgium that I have never heard of! When I finally got so frustrated and confronted him, he told me his dark secret…it was more than I could bear.
Concerning internet porn, the internet is a perfect drug delivery system because you are anonymous, aroused and have role models for these behaviors. I fear that the upcoming generation will include a large majority of individuals who cannot relate to each other on an intimate level and who will spend their entire lives seeking fantasy relationships that have no grounding in reality.
I think my husband is a sex addict. The first time I found out he had been sleeping with someone we both knew and she could not keep it a secret any longer. After it came out I found out she was not the only one there were at least five others.
I have been married to a sex addict for 10 years. 3 years together prior to that. He has been an SA for pretty much all of his adult life. I am his second wife, he lost the first one because of his addiction.
Yes, I have heard, and sadly have previously agreed, that prostitution always has and always will be around, so why not just legalize it? But there was always that nagging hurt inside of me for the women. Something just wasn't right about legalizing an industry that exploits women. An industry that caters to the base instincts of men who think that money can buy another human being and allow them to use and abuse that human being in any way they choose. An industry where men, and only men--the johns and the pimps, benefit at the expense of the objectified and abused women.
Spring is a time of rebirth and renewal. I was profoundly moved this week as I watched a butterfly emerge from her chrysalis and I thought of myself and all of you who are emerging into a new life as beautiful butterflies.The photo that I took is on the left.
I apologize for not writing any posts in a while. Spring has sprung here in Missouri and, with lots of flower beds and landscaped terraces screaming for my attention I have been up to my elbows in planting, weeding and outdoor clean up. And, this weekend my son and his family are in from out of town, so grandma will be busy cooking and soaking up lots of love.
I have also been very busy working the bugs out of some new audio/visual production software (I love Adobe) to provide podcasts and interviews for this site. (more…)
The effects of living with a Sex Addict are subtle but deep, destructive to our sense of safety, emotionally devastating and life changing. As the relationship with a Sex Addict progresses our personalities change. We try to find normal ways to deal with an abnormal situation. Sex Addicts have two sides to their personalities and the deception over who they are, what they believe in and what they are doing presents an ever changing, contradictory picture that is impossible to make sense of.