Discovery

Our path to recovery starts with discovery. The ways that each of us find out about our spouse’s Sexual Addiction are as varied as the types of addiction. Some of us are jolted into painful reality with a phone call from the local jail, the other woman or man, or just by having to face the overwhelming evidence that we have been trying to ignore. Rarely, our spouse may have become so distressed with their way of life that they will shock us with a confession.

But, however it happens, the initial discovery is only the beginning. It took over four years for my husband to reveal the full spectrum of his addictive activities. This partial disclosure is quite common among Sex Addicts. Often those who are confronted will vehemently deny any wrongdoing and only fess up to what absolutely cannot be denied. This kind of behavior can make you crazy. Not only is the frustration enough to make you want to scream, but over time a more insidious pattern emerges where we begin to doubt ourselves. (more…)

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How Did You Find Out?

WomanCryingThe book is coming along nicely and yesterday I was working on a section about Discovery–how and when we find out that our spouse or partner is a Sex Addict.

I can remember the day I found out as if it were yesterday. It was a Thursday and I was off work. While sorting through the stack of mail from the previous few days I noticed that a bank statement that I had seen come in was missing. (more…)

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